So, breaking down the aftermath of my breakup- I feel better because I know I did the right thing. I also feel crumby cause I never wanted to let him down or hurt him. He has been very cool about everything though. I have such great people in my life and I am very blessed they put up with me. And finally I feel lonely because I'm left wondering if I have a lifetime of not being ready ahead of me.
So I am praying to my Father, "what now?" What should I be focusing my attention on? What should I be devoting my time to? Should I do the biblical studies program at Cole? Go overseas to teach? And what about love? No, seriously, what about love??
For now God hasn't given me any clear direction except to continue doing what I've set out to do: Honor Him, Get my debt paid off, Get healthy, Keep praying. And really that's not bad for direction. Not bad at all.